{Change}

There is a saying that goes something along these lines (because I can't remember the exact saying) - the only thing that is constant is that everything is continually changing.

There are those people out there that deal well with changes.  They almost enjoy the constant movement in their lives...new jobs, new cities, new children, new ways of doing stuff.  I would love to tell you that I'm one of those people, but I'm not.  Just recently we were discussing change with our Youth and I confessed to them that I do not do well with change...unless it's my idea...and even then, I tend to struggle with change.  My initial reaction is to say "NO!"...and then as I truly consider what the change is, the benefits...the positives of said change, usually I come around.  I have worked really hard to resist that initial knee jerk reaction and wait until I can get to the next phase to see if I can accept the change...but I'm not always successful.

Yet, every Spring, I deeply desire a change in my life.  I don't know if it's coming out of the dreariness of winter...or just seeing how the trees/flowers/bushes all come out and become new...but there is a part of me that wants something to change.  It's not a specific change that I seek...just anything to be different.

The constants in my life:

 - I've been a single mom for 16 (almost 17 years).

 - I've worked at the same place for 14 years.

 - I've gone to the same church for my entire life.

 - I've lived in the same small town for my entire life - even when I moved out of my parents' house, I only moved 2 minutes away...literally.

Over the next year or so, my life is going to change in a major way...because my 16 almost 17 year old son is going to graduate...and move on, as he should.  We were discussing colleges the other night - I desperately want him to stay in NC...he really would like to go to FL.  I told him that I wouldn't lie to him & tell him I didn't want him to stay in NC...because I really & truly do...but I also told him that ultimately, I wanted him to go to the best school with the best options and the best financial opportunities...and one that he would enjoy.  I think he understood...but the one thing that stuck out from our conversation was this - he said "I don't want to just go to a FL school to be near my family. I really want to experience a different culture...a different way of life."  In his mind, the way of life in FL is just enough different to give him a different taste in life...and I cannot fault him for feeling that way.

Change.

I don't know how God will orchestrate change in my life, but I'm trusting that He will change what needs to be changed...and leave the rest alone.  I'm praying about some specific things that I think He might be calling me towards...but we shall see.  Ultimately, it's up to Him...and I am trying to be patient and know that His plan is the best course.